What is Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (HOCD)?

What is Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder? Most of us assume that by the time we’re adults, we know everything there is to discover about ourselves. Imagine how jarring it would be to have the thought creep into your mind one day that perhaps you don’t. This thought would be infinitely more distressing if you thought this could drastically impact your sexuality and relationships.

If you’re here, you may have had sudden doubts about your sexual orientation. The thought seemed to come out of nowhere. You thought, “What if I’m gay?”, and then it never stopped. Where did this even come from? And why is this suddenly taking over every aspect of your life?

If these questions have been plaguing you, you’ve come to the right place. Don’t jump to any conclusions right now. Just consider this information, so you can be armed with the facts, enabling you to come to an informed conclusion, and this internal struggle will be over.

A Brief Introduction to the Disorder

There are multiple forms of OCD. HOCD falls into the category of Pure OCD, also often called “Pure O”. This means while other forms of the disorder manifest in physical rituals, pure OCD happens solely inside of a person’s mind. Whereas someone with the most traditional form of OCD might wash their hands repeatedly to reassure themselves about not having germs, someone with pure O will seek thoughts that comfort them from the intrusive ones.

All OCD begins with an intrusive thought, which is exactly as it sounds. Here’s the big secret- everyone has them. But whereas a person without OCD might think, “Well, that was a weird thought,” and move on, an OCD sufferer will latch onto it and wonder why they had it. They think it must say something about them that they had this thought.

An intrusive thought can come in any form. In this case, the sufferer latches onto the idea that they might be gay and not have known it or that their sexuality is suddenly changing.

What Does This Mean for Me?

You might be thinking, “You didn’t answer my question. Am I gay or not?” We can’t give you that answer, and it would be irresponsible of us to direct you one way or the other. Instead, we’re going to take you through the course of HOCD to see how familiar it sounds to you.

It starts with the intrusive thought, just like any OCD form. Then it becomes all the person can think about. You search your memory banks, and everything you said, did, and thought becomes repainted under this light.

To give yourself relief, you start checking and seeking reassurance. You might watch content to reassure yourself that you’re straight.

When the anxiety reaches crippling levels. Sufferers can lose sleep, appetite, relationships, and peace of mind. Their performance at work and school can be lower because of preoccupation.

The Truth

When you’re looking for something, you are going to find it. This means the physical response you’re dreading will manifest the same way hypochondria can cause a person to suddenly develop the symptoms of an illness they’re worried about. In fact, there’s a name for it- the groinal response.

But the thing is, these thoughts and feelings don’t give you any joy. They are making you suffer.

The difference between an actual fantasy and an intrusive thought is that a fantasy is something you enjoy and even retreat to. An intrusive thought is something you want to get rid of. You are not suddenly turning gay. You’ve become stuck in a thought loop.

An Added Complication

OCD has a way of bringing up another worry once you’ve gotten rid of the last one. For many, they are hit with an added struggle. “Does this mean I have prejudices I wasn’t aware of?”

Having HOCD is not any statement for or against anything. In fact, there is a variant of this disorder where a person can think they were wrong about being gay. The crux of this mental suffering lies in the fact that the person thinks they might have been completely wrong about who they were their entire life.

I Think I Have HOCD. Now what?

The first thing you must do, which is the ultimate goal of OCD treatment, is to stop seeking reassurance. It’s a temporary solution, because the second you’re alone again, the thoughts will find a loophole to exploit, and you’ll be back at square one.

We have thousands of thoughts every day. Many are the product of fleeting emotions. You can have thoughts that do not reflect your feelings at all.

OCD thrives on the need to know something beyond any shadow of a doubt. The moment you are released from this thought loop is the moment you can say unwaveringly, “Maybe, maybe not. Either way, I will be alright.” This doesn’t mean you’re accepting the scenario of the thought. You’re dulling the power that thought has over you because right now, it’s thriving on the fact that you think the said scenario would be the end of the world.

If this has been going on for a long time, consider cognitive behavioural therapy. However, you need to find one who specialises in OCD. Some professionals aren’t well versed in this particular disorder, and therefore the sessions ended up being damaging.

Unravelling Your Thoughts to Find Security

It’s easy to become consumed by a thought in the best circumstances. For OCD sufferers, it’s even more so.

To make them stop, you must go about it the right way. Reassurance-seeking behaviours provide temporary solutions. You might as well put a band-aid on a wound that’s already infected.

Like any other OCD form, this disorder thrives off of the need for reassurance. To stop seeking that is to starve it.

OCD & HOCD & CBT

Cognitive behavioural therapy is an effective treatment for OCD disorders. This type of therapy teaches you how to modify the negative thoughts and beliefs that contribute to your condition. It also helps you develop healthy coping mechanisms.

Access CBT offer CBT treatment for all types of depressive and anxiety disorder issues with in-person depression CBT Counselling in Liverpool or Online Support

The NHS UK also offers a number of support groups and advice for those suffering from OCD disorders.